Her Rants
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
i want to just fucking cry my eyes out. or somebody take a knife and tear my heart out.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 01:34
so awesome! i met serena and genevieve today! oh gee.. my primary 4 best friends. haha. it's great how it's so easy to talk to them.. heehee. i just hope they'll both be fine.. supposed to go zouk tomorrow night but i'm passing coz this week's really packed already. i won't get to see pretty girls xiujuan and chrystle but that's alright.
christina talked to me at work today.. they'll be in for a surprise this friday.
and lyn got accepted at melbourne..ahh. im happy for her but yet.. im sad... i'll really really miss her when she's gone.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:12
Monday, March 28, 2005
new guy is not bad looking. shy boy kinda look. but he's AWFULLY QUIET! i feel like screaming for the both of us! *sigh*
this week's real packed but i'm happy! i'll be seeing a lot of people this week plus i'll be doing salsa again this saturday! today's lesson was fun and i think most of us are gonna go on our own one of the sundays to dance. :D alene and peig.. can we meet up soon? i haven't told u all my exciting bintan story okay..
what an exciting week!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:59
Sunday, March 27, 2005
lyn's friend is one of the 50 bachelors in cleo and he just offered us tickets to the finals! whee! hope we can go though!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:41
Saturday, March 26, 2005
lynette, jess and i went to one of the singapore fashion festival shows. we attended the shows by versus and fcuk and damn did we feel ugly there. there were so many good looking people! all dressed up, nice hair and make up.. sheesh.
on the way to town, i was
totally drenched and lyn had to dry them for me in the wisma toilet while i sat there half-dressed? i made jess buy me a cup of hot milo too coz i was freeeeeezing! stupid rain + mrt air-con. i felt so ugly standing next to them but ahhh!!! i felt so much worse when i got to the ngee ann city tent! oh but it was a good place to people-watch. :)
the show itself was really cool! i thought jess and i had pretty long legs but now.. we're nothing man. the models' legs were
endless! it was really cool coz there weren't just professional models, there were also local people, like the female body builder featured on CNA recently. the versus show was normal. the fcuk one was really entertaining though. i loved it! especially the ending with the kids almost spelling "FCUK" wrongly. :)
we had cake at spinelli's and then we headed to the cine arcade. i haven't stepped into an arcade for ages but damn it was fun! haha. i'm not too bad at air hockey, for a first timer! :D
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:59
Friday, March 25, 2005
met lyn, jess and the 4/1 pple today! haven't seen them in ages. i missed them man, but i miss bintan too. sigh. oh! going out with serena and genevieve on tues for dinner! so cool! my primary 4 best friends.. haha. hmm. shit. my skin's starting to peel.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:59
sun, sand, sea. haha. that was pretty much what bintan was like. boy i had a hell lot of fun there and that's an understatement. :D
the resort wasn't glam like the ones we passed by but it was truly rustic. we're paying customers and that's probably why the staff were great but hey, you can pay the same amount of money but i'm not sure if you'll get the same kinda treatment over in singapore.
we hit the beach almost immediately and damnnn.. that's the life man..seriously. i wouldn't mind working there.. meeting loads of friendly people, bumming on the beach, doing water sports all day or going in search of new reefs.. the people there were great. not just the staff..the other tourists..haha. they were so easy to talk to and i found my other half - 7 year old Linus! he'll grow up to be a heartbreaker for sure! then there was this guy from the UK, Chris. dammit. i wanted a picture with him but he left for batam.. he saved me from falling off the bananaboat, plus he's cute. *sigh*
we were on the beach most of the time.. the evenings were spent going in search of food..we were walking back from the kelong seafood place and dunno who started talking abt ghost stories and we found ourselves almost running, coz the roads were unlit..haha. yea other funny stuff, like how hasan was sleep talking in this really high-pitched voice and the bunch of japanese girls thought i was japanese too..heh..etc etc etc. it was a very eventful trip. a damn good one.
i miss that place already.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:13
Monday, March 21, 2005
adios amigos. i'm off to bintan. pray i'll have left over cash so i can get some stuff for some people eh? if not.. next time perhaps. :) see you all this weekend!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:58
Sunday, March 20, 2005
i cut my hair. again. shorter than the previous one.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 19:48
Saturday, March 19, 2005
happy birthday serena teooo!
today's also SMU's open house and lyn and i didn't attend any of the talks. we were at the booths for quite a while, asking questions and i learnt quite a bit. we left for lunch in town and also to send some stuff for alteration before going back to raffles city for the equinox tour thing. saw alot of people today, not just during the open house. met serena at city hall to pass her some stuff, daniel and deirdre at scotts (oh, it's her birthday today too!), lydia and kat in town, and yea, russell and his swiss friend for a drink in the evening, where i totally displayed my travel ignorance.. *sigh* so embarrassing. but oh so cool! i haven't seen alene and peig for a really long time and when we were walking from the station to indochine, we bumped into them there (and what a coincidence, peig msged me just a few mins before)!! :D we sat at indochine for a while but russell's friend had to catch a flight so they left early and i had dinner with alene. we were like, sitting and talking along orchard road when we bumped into aqilah. peig joined us later on and yea.. we just sat and talk. haha. yea i missed the two of them.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:55
Thursday, March 17, 2005
i think, after so long, i should just stop stickin to principles so much.
i should just be like everyone else, go with the flow, do what everyone else is doing, even if it means going against principles i once believed in. eh?
that way, maybe my ideas wouldn't clash so much with other people's. perhaps i'll be able to let things go more easily, not hurt so easily.
i should just loosen up.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:19
i'm over at xinhui's hotel and we've got wirelss coz some nut didn't protect his network properly, hahah. and i'm fooling around with her tablet but i don't think i can use it in blogger. if i ever run away from home i'll come to this hotel, it's quiet and cosy enough. woohoo! and tomorrow i get to wake up at 7.30am coz my workplace is only 15 mins walk away!
so today christina talked to me about my job. i thought i was gonna get fired or something but nooo.. she said she knew i was bored and the admin will find more interesting stuff for me to do coz they hope i'll stay. i felt so guilty after she finished coz i mean.. they're all nice people and i don't wanna give them trouble of any sort.. sigh.
clarke quay's really really nice now. crazy elephant has changed a bit from the last time i was there but still it brought back memories. so we had drinks and nice indonesian food and i think i'm going to go to bed soon. i'm gonna have a break out! *wails*
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:53
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
i'm up at this ungodly time still doing forms. ahh. but i'm done. i'm tired. and tomorrow i'll be crashin over at xinhui's, which is really near my work place and that's a good thing! coz i sure do need a drink and good company right now.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 03:21
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
i met my cousin and xinhui yesterday. how cool is that eh. haha. i'm tired fillin up forms. but it sure feels good to take a break from work.
‘Cause I am reaching for you
but my arms aren’t long enough
and I am running to you
if I could go a little faster
and I am crying to you
but I can’t hear my own voice
and I am waiting for you
and trying not to fall asleep now
'Cause I’m clumsily dancing away this fear
I’m stumbling closer to you and I’m tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you lifehouse - fool
// hilda left the world behind.. // 16:52
Sunday, March 13, 2005
finally, the overseas trip is settled. :) met hasan saturday morning to do it before cabbing down to NUS for the talks. saw alot of people there, serena too! i didn't go for the CIP thing at pasir ris in the end and i stayed till 5+pm, waiting for the 4/1 gang to arrive. so stupid..i didn't know what the route was like for the internal shuttle buses so when the 4/1 ppl were finally done, i was late because err, i sat on the bus (a loop bus) twice in a row and didn't know where to get off? i assumed it would alight at the front of the multi-purpose hall but nooo.. it didn't. thankfully this kind soul helped me out. but i was really quite irritated by then. i mean.. super hot day.. i was perspiring like nobody's business and i was so bloody tired.
i felt better after meeting them. we went to shop for bbq food and zhiheng came! haha.. first time in a million years! the bbq definitely went pretty well, except that i was exhausted. after the bbq we sat by the pool and talked but after a while i was lyin on the table like how we usually do in school, half asleep already. they cleared up and i kinda dragged myself back into the house and slept on the sofa. hahaha. they told ghost stories apparently but i was totally out by then. they were pretty tired too i think, coz when i woke up in the morning.. err.. i realised a lot of us didn't shower. heeheehee.
i showered in the morning and we went to the NTU open house. the campus is not bad i'd say and the speakers were definitely better than those in NUS. eileen's dad picked me up at boon lay and we went to the uk-ed fair where we saw haresh and thiam how. i doubt i'll ever make it there and i'm definitely gonna miss my friends like crazy when they leave. sigh.
now that i'm home, my dad's still adamant about the whole hostel thing. sigh. so irritating. and i guess despite what other people say, i'm gonna try for accountancy anyways.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 18:49
Saturday, March 12, 2005
nothing much happened today, except for the manulife talk that we went to. ming, russell and i. russell shaved his head but he actually looked alright, in fact, he still looks good even though it was rather uneven. heh. the manulife talk was... quite funny. hahaha. ming and russell looked super bored but i was just quite amused, like how everyone else was absorbing all that they said like a sponge. got a bottle of wine before we left. dunno for what also.. i felt quite bad 'draggin' them down coz they really looked sooo bored but what the hell la, haha. they stood me up previously, so.. oh well! :D okay but no, they were nice about it actually. okay im tired.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:38
Friday, March 11, 2005
it's actually early friday morning but just so you readers don't get confused..
wednesday night i met serena, xiujuan and their friend peishan. haven't seen xiujuan in ages and damn, she's so pretty even without makeup on. how can! a pity she left early 'coz the music later on was better. i haven't been to chinablack in ages so i was actually quite glad to be there again. erm, except for the girl who puked on my leg (arghh!!!) and desperate guys being well, desperate. serena and i cabbed home and talked a bit on the way. i had fun girl, thanks. :) hmm..i slept at 4am and woke up at 645am? haha.
i therefore conclude that one of the biggest discoveries of our time is caffeine. it works miracles.
i was tired, no doubt, but at least i wasn't fallin asleep in front of the computer. heehee. met jess and lyn for dinner at holland village. we finally had spizza! olivia olivia oliviaa! i love salami. we walked from holland v to 6th avenue and talked along the way.. i'll miss them to bits when they're gone (okay they'll only be gone for a week or so..but still!). peig's flyin tomorrow (oei pig, tk care there k!) and i'll miss her too.
oh but my fav senior's gonna be back next week! actually, having my friends gone for a while isn't such a bad thing. i miss home. i really miss being home for dinner and being a coach potato for a while. i miss makin fun of tv shows and the people in them with my sister. i miss my mum's cooking. i especially miss my bed. i'm hardly in it anymore man.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 02:08
Thursday, March 10, 2005
it's actually early friday morning but just so you readers don't get confused..
wednesday night i met serena, xiujuan and their friend peishan. haven't seen xiujuan in ages and damn, she's so pretty even without makeup on. how can! a pity she left early 'coz the music later on was better. i haven't been to chinablack in ages so i was actually quite glad to be there again. erm, except for the girl who puked on my leg (arghh!!!) and desperate guys being well, desperate. serena and i cabbed home and talked a bit on the way. i had fun girl, thanks. :) hmm..i slept at 4am and woke up at 645am? haha.
i therefore conclude that one of the biggest discoveries of our time is caffeine. it works miracles.
i was tired, no doubt, but at least i wasn't fallin asleep in front of the computer. heehee. met jess and lyn for dinner at holland village. we finally had spizza! olivia olivia oliviaa! i love salami. we walked from holland v to 6th avenue and talked along the way.. i'll miss them to bits when they're gone (okay they'll only be gone for a week or so..but still!). peig's flyin tomorrow (oei pig, tk care there k!) and i'll miss her too.
oh but my fav senior's gonna be back next week! actually, having my friends gone for a while isn't such a bad thing. i miss home. i really miss being home for dinner and being a coach potato for a while. i miss makin fun of tv shows and the people in them with my sister. i miss my mum's cooking. i especially miss my bed. i'm hardly in it anymore man.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:59
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
okay so salsa class has started. i'm like the youngest there i think but it wasn't bad. meeting serena tomorrow and hopefully, i'll get to go to velvet underground. :) oh gosh there's so much to think about right now. cip, nus open house, bbq at kok's place, tmr evening, thurs evening with my girls, fri even at the talk.. oh my.. but at least i'm occupied. and to yc, i really really really appreciate what u're trying to do for me man. thanks!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:12
okay so salsa class has started. i'm like the youngest there i think but it wasn't bad. meeting serena tomorrow and hopefully, i'll get to go to velvet underground. :) oh gosh there's so much to think about right now. cip, nus open house, bbq at kok's place, tmr evening, thurs evening with my girls, fri even at the talk.. oh my.. but at least i'm occupied. and to yc, i really really really appreciate what u're trying to do for me man. thanks!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:08
okay so salsa class has started. i'm like the youngest there i think but it wasn't bad. meeting serena tomorrow and hopefully, i'll get to go to velvet underground. :) oh gosh there's so much to think about right now. cip, nus open house, bbq at kok's place, tmr evening, thurs evening with my girls, fri even at the talk.. oh my.. but at least i'm occupied. and to yc, i really really really appreciate what u're trying to do for me man. thanks!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:08
Sunday, March 06, 2005
i had another long day today but it was pretty alright. it was my turn to do the housework this morning so i woke up pretty early to do it. supposed to be at suntec city to meet ming, russell and co or the career fair but alas, the guys stood me up, those #(%&($@. haha. okay nevermind. ming owes me a drink. it was okay though, coz i finally managed to get the career profiling thing done. haha. teacher.. a teacher she said.. 'coz i've got a good head on my shoulders.. hahah. suddenly the thought of becomin a teacher isn't so funny anymore. i had free dance day with kelly and peig but i was almost late and i forgot to eat lunch (coz i was so engrossed in the fair) so i was really hungry but other than that, it was pretty fun! haha. although funk is really difficult to catch.. i think i was makin a fool of myself most of the time but what the hell, it was quite fun anyway. jeanette aw was there but it was nothing really. hmm.. that's it for now. salsa tmr!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:59
i barely slept 8 hrs in 2 days. i woke up on my own.. at 7am yesterday morning (my alarm hadn't even gone off) 'coz i dunno, troubled? i had a whole day out and i had to carry around a heavy heart and a stewpid happy face. i felt so awful coz i had to tutor yari but i was stoning quite a bit. and then during CIP..initially.. argh. after so many years of trying to keep a particular someone out of my life, everything had to come back after i met his best friend by chance. not her fault in any way, it's just, it was so overwhelming, especially with all that happened last night. but CIP on it's own was fun.. it was the only time yesterday when i really forgot things for a while. :)
but once the fun ended, argh.. i felt like shit again on the way to suntec and i had to call someone. lyn wanted to miss church to come meet me but nah.. told her not to. met peig, ming, hasan and alene at the suntec career fair where i saw dear jess too. didn't have time to tell her the whole story but i think she'll hear from lyn soon.
met serena for supper at chomp and finally i could tell someone face to face what really happened. it felt good pourin everything out and i'm so glad i found a good friend once again. we talked about alot of other things and i'm glad she's moved on from friday. saw pretty vj singer jocelyn and i'm glad she's happy with her grades too.
xin: basket..advance? darn. i'm only intermediate.
whoknows: :) i know. heh. thank you.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 09:01
Saturday, March 05, 2005
it feels like i have to re-take my results all over again. i hate this feeling.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 03:11
Friday, March 04, 2005
i'm really under-valued but what the hell, i did better than what i predicted for myself. there's no reason to be upset over but it's also nothing to cheer about. it's just.. yea.. like that. haha. i guess i could've done better but hey, no complains, it's over. :) things could've been alot worse. heehee.
as for my friends, well i'm really really so happy for so many of them! lyn..jess..how they all got what the wanted, ron and hasan (*sob*..to think last time we were abt the same standard) got 3A1B.. and of course, how so many other people got 3As and 4As. i'll definite get my treat from uiaik so now i gotta choose which nice restaurant we're going to. haha.
for those who didn't do as well.. there are still many options open. don't fret okay?
the whole 4/1 gang did pretty alright but we made huiling pay for the cab fare coz she's got 4As (i dunno why we did that but she was happy enough to do it too) and weixin treated us to 2 tubs of ice-cream (okay, we made him buy it) but he had no complains either. haha. i guess most of us are happy people. and minkok has a hugeeee secret!
all in all.. today was fine i guess. we spent last night worrying about nothing but well, rouge was nice and we saw inna (another smarty with dunno how many As). oh well. ciao!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:00
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
serena: girlll! i'm rather freaked out too..! are you free this weekend? if you are then maybe we can meet up ya? supper or something?
eileen: leeeeeen you're much smarter than me so i doubt you know my fears (although i understand you have your own fears la). okay but shit. we're both nervous okay? haha. sigh. 2 more days.
someone who cares: i really appreciate your thoughts. i guess you're right, people in uni right now are probably wondering why we're freakin out over As. seems you're awaiting A-lvl results too? well all the best. i feel better already. hopefully i'll carry this feelin thru all the way until i open up the slip.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 20:05
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
i'm on my sister's laptop and i absolutely hate it. the keys are weird.
i've got alot on my mind right now. my brother's grades, the whole m'sia trip thing which i have serious doubts about, my dance class, the future UK-US trip, and of course, our results this friday. i think i've got to be one of the most non-value-added njcians around. i mean, i did pretty alright for the psle and the o levels but this time around, it's different. personally, grades aren't all that important but it's my future career choices that i'm confused about. i don't know if i should still aim for accountancy, esp after being in an office job for a month..grr. then again, there're the two different ways of flying, as well as err, teaching? yea, my dad's idea. sigh. i'm really really confused right now. like huiling said, it's not the grades that are the problem. it's the fact that so many doors are closed after u open that slip.
and i really need a holiday but planning one is so freakin difficult. if i were a guy, i swear i'd take one of those budget airlines and fly to phuket. pity i'll never be allowed to do that 'coz i'm a girl. arghhh.. i'm so frustrated right now. and it doesn't help that there are 3 days for my panic to reach a dramatic climax.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 21:27
