Her Rants
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
oh yea! xinhui's flight is confirmed! woohoo! 22nd dec! hey man if you're reading this, i'm really excited! 'coz during june we didn't do the stuff that we were supposed to do, so yes, hopefully this time around we'll get to do them yea? must make time for your friends and juniors okay, not just for... coz yea, i missed you too! (alright stop smiling to yourself..) =D
// hilda left the world behind.. // 13:34
we had physics practical on monday which wasn't toooo bad. hopefully chem pract will be manageable too. well my trip to malaysia's comfirmed and i'm really looking forward to it, even though this means i'll miss a night out with my girlfriends. there's this band competition organised by Power98 and yes, there's hope for the local music industry after all! some of them are pretty good and i think it's an event xinhui would want to attend. i'd go if it's not because of the As. to the anonymous person, how thoughtful of you to worry for the rest of the world. but it does go to show how much grey matter
you've got, passing judgement on somebody whom you only know thru' her online rantings. how intelligent. perhaps in time you'll find something more meaningful to do with your life. till then, happy reading.
mummy's birthday is coming up. so's jolin's. i miss that girl man.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 09:31
Sunday, October 24, 2004
okay so i finally upped my hdd to a 20gb one. on top of that, i've got a removable drive that totals 6gb. so effectively i've got 26gig of space and i should be happy because of the new capacity right? (previously i was working on the 6gig one only.) but no, not really. daddy reformated the pc but i made backups of my contacts and all. only..my new icq can't read my old message archives.. and for some weird reason my moniter can't register a 1024x786 screen anymore. so now i'm kinda stuck using 800x600 and suddenly everything looks so big compared to what i was used to. oh and my blog doesn't fit the screen anymore. hrm.. *scratches head* plus the new OS is taking me a while to figure out where my outlook express files are kept so i'll have to use web-based email for awhile. bleah. what's more, i can't install programmes using my windows account. i have to get daddy's administrator password in order to do that. so shittified. ah well.
oh but yesterday was so fun! i went to this euyanseng clinic! haha. we were watching CNA at home and there was this programme on traditional chinese medicine so my dad and i decided to give it a shot! we thought the doctor would speak english, i mean, all doctors do right? but no, she spoke to us in chinese, with a China accent and my dad was probably thinking the same thing i was thinking.. "OH SHIT!" i take after my dad in the language department you see. hahaha. it took a few seconds before i could actually tell her my condition but it wasn't too bad really! she understood me and i understood her! it was so cool, she told me that i didn't have enough "yin" (ni3 de4 yin1 bu4 zhu2) and she prescribed some chinese medicine that i have to take for 5 days. it's this chinese herb tea! i was hoping she'd perform acupuncture on my heel but she just told me to stop running. haha. i was so fascinated when i left the clinic man. i think my mum wants to go check out that place too and she might bring my sister along coz i told her how cool it was! =D
// hilda left the world behind.. // 16:04
Saturday, October 23, 2004
oh wow! so cool! alfred! hahah, yes, with the internet the world sure is becoming a lot smaller. another like, 2 weeks to the actual A levels so i doubt i'll be updating much, for now. hee hee. but u're free to look thru' my archives! when will you be coming back? i think ron and serhwee will probably be in NS by then. haha. well you keep yourself warm this time of the year. i'm off to study now! ciao!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 10:47
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
dammit. i've been so super unlucky this year man. i mean, as most of you already know, my bike got stolen not too long ago. and guess what! my wallet got stolen too! like.. wth rite? oh but alene made me feel better, i never knew her wallet got stolen 3 times before. haha. and besides, i didn't have that much cash inside, my ez-link was virtually empty and the only other sorta important card was the njc tap card, but since monday was the last day of school, it doesn't matter :) i lost a good number of neoprints though but i've still got copies of most of them so it's not too bad either.. i hope those assholes die of anger after realising i didn't have that much money inside. hmm.. just as well. the wallet was getting pretty old. (oh but hey, don't you all go rushing to get me a new wallet for xmas okay! haha!) i gotta thank lynette though, i mean, coz we had class dinner after that and she paid for me first. i felt quite bad la, coz i think she spent virtually all the money that she brought out, half of which she spent on me. =S sorry girl..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 09:53
Friday, October 15, 2004
i wish i could run away. either that, or that i could turn back time. but turning back time means i'll have to re-live whatever i'm trying to run away from.
they weren't lying when they said the A level is the toughest exam they've ever had. it's not just that. school and people in general can drain your energies.. it's hard trying to strike a balance between who i am and who people expect me to be. at the same time, i've grown so much stronger compared to 4 years ago but i don't know if i'm any wiser. i've been trying to learn from him, to be happy, to lead a good and full life but i've overlooked the big things because i've been overly-concerned with the small ones. i've told myself before i wouldn't give a damn what others thought but now i'm less sensitive to things that used to matter to me. instead of being happier, i think i've had more worries and i've been more angry with myself and others, than before. haha. the irony of it. penny jie used to say my song was S Club 7's Reach, but now it's probably like, Adam's Song or sthg. but no, i don't hate my life, it's just, i'm not the best person i can be and i'm still not living as full a life as i hope to live. i've achieved a lot as a team with the house reps but very little on my own.. i guess i owe a lot of people apologies.
so, i take it back. i don't wanna run away. i can't. not from myself. but i'm not gonna feel sorry for myself and all that. now's not the time to think about spiritual reforms but when the excitement dies down during December, when they're all in korea, shanghai, aussie, etc., i wanna go fishing while watching the sunset and take the half an hour taxi boat just to feel the breeze in my face. to spend some time with myself.
haresh, thank you. :) this whole thing started only after reading your note.
this is the third time i'm blogging today. see archives if you're interested.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 18:05
xinhui! people should work for what they want. if they can't get it, then they should live with it, right? you know i feel strongly about alotta stuff - this is one of them.
haresh, if you're reading this, i really appreciate the message you left in my guestbook. i've always respected you coz somehow you always seem to make sense. the part about us being in council and house especially.. well even if the situation doesn't change, i'll still have fond memories of njc to take away with me. i'm thankful for having met some really wonderful people, and yes, you included. hahaha. tell me which school you're teaching at in future. if i ever have kids, i'll send them over there so they can learn from the chemistry 'shen'. :)
anyway, i went for the international relations talk and it changed my perspective on certain issues. i must say the lady's quite an interesting person and i wish she could've spoken to my dad regarding korea. for somebody who thinks he's so practical, he sure doesn't understand the benefits of exposure. but i'm not so upset over korea coz well, he probably has to replace the bike, so.. yea. that's costly already.
school term came to a close on wednesday but honestly, it didn't feel like the last day of school at all, for many reasons. haha. so mer, unfortunately, i can't share your sadness. i'll probably still see my friends the next couple of weeks in school and during the holidays. oh, who's up for crashing orientation next year?
// hilda left the world behind.. // 17:27
oh man. ron's not reading this but wtf, my bike got stolen too. and i had great post A level plans for it! to the bastard(s) who were given hands and legs but refuse to use them to earn money, choosing to steal instead.. may they ride my bike and get hit by a car. if they don't, may their sons and daughters grow up without being able to use their limbs and remain wheel-chair bound their entire lives.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 07:28
Friday, October 08, 2004
destiny's child is back. oh yea. though mainstream, i like 'em for their angst and girl power.
my life's gonna be hell boring for the next one and a half months. there won't be much updating and i'll probably lay off the computer to concentrate on the A's. thought about putting a nice "will be back" page but it'll take me a while so i decided to scrap it.
hopefully i'll have time to come up with a new layout after the exams, if i'm not too busy playing that is. till then, adios amigos and complete strangers who frequent this blog!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:41
Sunday, October 03, 2004
my mum's not thrilled at all about me wanting to be a pilot. my dad's supporting me all the way though! haha. quite expected actually.
i think i'll call that captain something something some time this week coz my dad has got questions. i'll probably do my university education first though. at least i'll have something to fall back on if i don't make the cut.
i hate this feeling. i hate missing people. xinhui.. your fault.. i started to think after doing that silly quiz thingy. *sob sob* well, at least pain lets me know i'm still alive, that i still feel..i've been wondering about that for a while. but i shall not let my emotions govern what i do next. so yes, to hell with it. hilda's gonna be okay.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 16:50
Saturday, October 02, 2004
i just came back from the RSAF seminar and some of you peeps might already know being a pilot is an option i'm considering. of course, people like mervyn always laugh at it la. anyway, it's got alotta attractive benefits but it also means i'll have to start university later i think. i'm still quite confused, even after eileen tried so hard to put things into perspective, haha. i mean, if i get cut by the time i only have half a year of training left, that will mean i've wasted 2 whole years, and my life will be as it is before embarking on a pilot's journey. determination's one thing, but for a girl, wasting 2 years is a pretty big deal i think. i dunno man. also.. if i really go for BMT and OCS etc, that means i can't take part in singapore idol next year right? haha. okay that's a minor thing. not like a pop career's gonna last long in singapore anyway.
seriously though.. if i really become a pilot and continue with my university education after that, i'll probably only get my degree at 25 or 26? and 25 years from then when my contract expires.. even if i have say like, a bachelor of science for e.g., who's gonna employ me since my only working experience is flying a plane.. right? oh mannnnnnnnn................. i have a feeling i'll probably end up doing a desk job. haha.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 18:45
Friday, October 01, 2004
20 Questions to a Better Relationship
okay i got this from xinhui's blog. she insisted that i try this thing? haha.
eXpressive: 5/10
Practical: 6/10
Physical: 2/10
Giver: 5/10
You are a RPIT--Reserved Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Love Geek.
Heh heh -- you love geek! You are weirdly sexy. It doesn't take people a long time to get to know you, but people *think* it takes a long time, because you are as cool and regulated after a year as you are on a first meeting. You don't tend to date casually -- you just suddenly find yourself in long term relationships.
Your approach to conflict is your greatest asset -- it complements almost every other type. You don't express yourself or your feelings in dramatic terms, but you will speak up to those who do. You are generally calm, but capable of ramping up, and you don't give up until the issue is resolved -- this means even the hottest temper or coolest conflict-avoider can feel comfortable pursuing their satisfaction with you. And you don't hold a grudge -- you get through it, and it's done. You rock.
Sure, you like the sex. And you communicate with your partner well, so you're good at it. But it's not something you would make jokes about or bring up in polite company (not that you don't appreciate that kind of humor). You're no prude, but that's just not your style.
You'd make an excellent parent.
You enjoy food and can be a ravenous eater. A good cook will get your attention quickly.
Of the 115687 people who have taken this quiz, 5.3 % are this type.
hmm.. i enjoy food. yes. parent? err.. really. i think i'll pass. i don't think i can stand the screaming and the crying. haha. the long term thing? how true. ahhh... *sigh* sometimes i wish i wouldn't hold on to things for so long. haha.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:28
it's a conspiracy!!!! i don't believe this!
how could jessea thyidor (okay i really don't know how to spell her name) not make it?! she sounds the best and she looks the best! she's got this
thing about her that all the other contestants lack! ahh!! there's no point in watching singapore idol anymore.. *sob sob* it's like, a repeat of whatever happened to latoya london! okay maybe that's not such a bad thing. it means more time for revision, right? haha. thanks to all those who wrote, very thought provoking indeed but well, i guess i'm only human. ivan, if you're reading this, thanks, you've always provided very sensible advice. :) oh but err, haha, my pc crashed trying to open the site you left me. heh, have fun in camp!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 21:54
