Her Rants
Sunday, February 29, 2004
thank you lynette.. =) really.. i had a really great talk with you last night and it's been ages since we last talked like that.. i'm so thankful i've got someone like you in my life.. it makes a lot of things so much easier, knowing that there'll always be someone there for me..i love you so much.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 11:18
Saturday, February 28, 2004
yes yes. chain reaction. thinking about other stuff right now..
there was a church behind chij-olgc.. the church of St. Francis Xavier. i think it's still there.
they had a prayer room..if my memory doesn't fail me, it was a rather small room.. one wall was designed such that it could hold candles and right at the opposite side of the room, there was a statue of the Virgin Mary. i think i was in primary 5 and i was scared of going to school.. i was so afraid of my teacher 'coz she was so fierce (by the end of the year, i loved her to bits). i remember asking my mum if i could not go to school and all.. yea boy.. i remember crying at the thought of attending her lessons.. depression sets in even for kids right? i think that was what happened..but i remember oh so clearly how on certain days i'd hope that the prayer room was open.. and then i'd go in by myself, take a cushion, kneel and start praying. about what? i can't remember exactly..but i know there was this once..some old lady was there praying with her rosary..and when she left.. the room was empty and i started crying while praying. i cried so hard i felt silly after that. but i definitely felt better when i left the prayer room.
enlighten me if i'm wrong...but people do turn to religion to make them feel better right? like.. their god is the only person whom they can truly confide in and after all that praying, they feel so much better? like.. no matter what happens..their god is always constant in their life and somehow..they draw strength in their belief.. right? i know some people think that they're their own god..and religion is an excuse for one's shortcomings? but i guess there's only so much that we all can do.. you can't possible be in
total control of your life right? nic's been trying to get me to go back to church..i know my mum would be ecstatic if i did.. i told michelle leong in the toilet before talentime that i backslided.. but i think now..perhaps i need to get more in touch with my spiritual side.. i dunno.. i don't wanna talk to my mum about this.. i need to talk to someone more open minded..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 21:28
okay i'm not in the mood to read my notes anymore..xinhuiii... =(((((
my talk with alene and peiying that night at the playground coupled with what just happened.. sigh. feeling a little crappy right now. so yes, to the both of you, guess what ya?
but no.. i'll never be reduced to that which i detest. but well, i need to do something to lift my spirits now i guess.
hmm.. i wanna get something for her.. but what?
// hilda left the world behind.. // 20:10
oh great. local universities have changed a few entry requirements..
1. Omission of SAT 1 as a requirement.
2. Mother Tongue grades need not be included.
like.. what the hell?!?! should i retake my SATs then? and what about mother tongue?? i've been struggling the whole of last year just to pass the blardy subject and now it's not even gonna be considered? basket.. ah..whatever..
xinhui.. hey..chill.. i don't think i've heard of anyone brag so much about their abilities and i doubt she's half as good as cheryl right? man..she needs to learn the meaning of playing in a team.. *pat pat* haven't talked to you in a while.. ah well. i'll be honest.. i wasn't exactly happy seeing you know what.. i think i'm jealous..! *sniff* okay whatever.. haha. your junior's a strong girl.. there's so much more to life.. i hope you feel that way too okay? sigh.. kinda miss your baichi-ness.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 19:29
lynette was so hyper on friday due to her lack of sleep.. and my gosh..she was like. so giggly the entire day! which was quite funny actually..haha. i hope wednesday will be a good day for her.. i'll be down to support njc at turf city! really wanna thank ui aik and kat for helping me thru' integration on thursday..i learnt the basics in one day but yes, i'm gonna fail the math test anyway.. haha. had lunch at prince with some of the class people and had what i hope is my last chinese lesson.. waited for alene to end school and then peig, alene and i went for dinner.. it was sinful. sooo absolutely sinful. but yes, they'll murder me if i actually wrote about it online..haha. but it was a good end to the week.. it was just a nice dinner..and a good talk at the hcjc bus stop playground.. =)
went to school early to run today but ended up with a stitch not long after.. didn't even clear 4km..and then had really sinful lunch as well..arghh!! showered before meeting jolin's brother to pass him the money and a postcard for her..the general meeting was like.. 15 minutes? or less.. haha. i think a lot of people felt a little cheated but well, i think a lot of them had fun after that, playing bball and soccer and all. read thru my chem notes in the house room and later on in the afternoon, met peig and alene after lunch with my family to study.. we went to like, so many places at bishan in search for a place to study but everywhere was just so packed! we finally settled down at olio dome. saw shaun when he went home from training.. arghh.. shit man. i feel so guilty for eating so much yesterday and today i think i'll skip dinner.. and run tomorrow morning!
oh and yes. i think my og did generally well for the O levels. congrats to all of you. =)
// hilda left the world behind.. // 18:55
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
saw jialing today! it was pretty spastic how we walked around the track while talking..haha. she's gonna give math tuition tmr and boy do i pity the poor kid.. =) was pretty happy today, got a new goal to work towards. and alene..i don't know what's bothering you, but everything will be okay ya? if you need to talk/scream/cry.. you have my number k? and ya la.. haha. i'm glad your chest is getting bigger. hahaha.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 19:19
Monday, February 23, 2004
saw inna at the bus stop today! been a long time since i last saw her actually.. her hair's long again so she tied it up. =) felt really happy for ronald and the home-grown band.. looks like most of them are still thinking about their performance last night.. haha. ronald and his rock star ambition..and now derek's joined him! =D all the way derek! super zai drummer! seems like lately everyone's got a reason to cheer, i think this week might actually be good for a change.. right eileen? despite the 3 tests.. (screwed the chem test already..bahhh..). looking forward to the end of the week..hopefully i'll get to chill with some of the girls.. hmm. i shouldn't even be online right now..think i'll forgive myself by taking a look at the new merger proposal.. see you all!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 20:26
mankuan: coz your tagboard's not working.. i'll write here.. go take a look at the syllabus for econs and fm or sthg..ask a few year 2s..then decide ya? but one thing i'll say..econs is really dry.. *sigh*
ron: hey, you read this all the time but it's the first time you actually said sthg..haha. anyway, thanks man! you guys did great too, both yesterday and tonight! though the other j2 band was good..you all will always be my fav la okay? oh..you didn't hear me that night? haha.. beg me to sing in class then! (yes..here's your cue to gag.. =D) see you in school ya? take care!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:36
to you-know-who-you-are: hey..i don't know you and all but i really appreciate what you wrote in my guestbook. most people won't know what the heck i'm talking about but well, just wanted to tell you that yes, i was referring to individuals, not the school..my cousin's from the school and he's a good fella, a couple of the house reps are from there too.. haha. glad to know you take pride in your school..and thanks for respecting my right to write whatever i want on my blog. it'll be nice to know who you are but if you wanna remain anonymous, that's fine. yep. ciao.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:29
Sunday, February 22, 2004
oh my goshh.. i only just got home and there's no time to study for the chemistry test tomorrow! *panic* well but fusion was okay, there were a lot of great performances but a few of them were boring. the nj people did great! great performances by the home-grown band, michelle leong (as usual!), yujie, clare, yy.. =) we screamed ourselves silly today! oh the cjc girl, alene's friend was superb man.. my gosh.. she has all the makings of a star.. no wonder she made it into the singapore idol thingy. and the hcjc dancer was soooo hot! and then there was the jjc trio who wrote their own songs.. oh! and i saw samantha! my gosh.. i haven't seen her for ages! =) still looking good as usual..kinda missed the times we had back in primary school.. ah well. three cheers for all the performers!
ate a full meal at mac after that.. where i conveniently forgot i already ate at home..arghh... ah well. i have like..3 tests this week? helpppp!!! jolin girl! haha, yea babe, i sold all the tickets, and so much has happened since i last saw you! free this weekend of sthg? i could drop by your place or sthg yea? just lemme know k!
hmm.. quite interesting to know how some people actually think they can hurt me by writing in my guestbook? geez..haha. like mankuan said on his blog..they really have got nothing better to do.. but it's nice to know that there are people who would actually stand up for me. =D well, but i'm getting quite bored with the hate-msges.. i mean.. they're so DUH.. they're still in my guestbook only because i thought it was entertaining..think i'll delete them soon.. and yes. like i told michelle..people who don't matter in my life, i don't really care what they think. especially shallow nobodies who haven't got the guts to say it to my face.
the people i love, love me in return, and the people i have respect for, have respect for me. yep. that's more than enough for me. =)
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:59
Saturday, February 21, 2004
what a wonderful day.. :) ran 4km in the morning before attending the merger meeting (hopefully, one of the last few). was pretty tired out by then, it's been a really long week. had really early lunch at 10.30 - 11 am (??) with captain, shaun, peig and kat.. glad at least i could eat with peig and shaun coz i wouldn't see them at night. slept when i got home and yes.. talentime. :)
kelly, thank you for the luck. it worked i guess, haha, i got 2nd. =PpPp let's see.. reached school around 3+ to warm up and yea.. dressed up and got my make up done just in time for the show. i guess when the duet with shaun didn't make it, i got kinda scared. i mean, the group finalists had each other, whereas i was doing solo and there was no one to push me on and all.. but i really really wanna thank those of you who've helped out, from giving constructive criticism to helping me with my outfit to making sure i take care of my throat to bringing me honey/barley water+fishermen's. big thank you! haha.. it's quite funny how everyone asked me if i was shaking on stage, coz my skirt kept moving? i was okay initially, till the part when i forgot my lyrics.. i think only michelle and her friend noticed, coz her friend actually knew the lyrics to the entire song? haha. i forgot the first part of it, so i just sang whatever came to mind..which was actually the second part.. ah heck. haha. whatever. it's over! weegin noticed the part when the microphone cord was too short to reach the other end of the stage and she said some guy laughed..haha. it was quite funny really! i found it quite amusing on stage too..
yea well, with the technical glitch and the memory loss, i was kinda shaken i guess. i couldn't hear the music on stage and all..i THOUGHT i screwed up.. bleah. but i guess i covered it well, right?? haha. the other items were great, i thought SKY (white flag) would get something but they didn't..i thought yujie and icky did well, and i'm so proud of gabriel man. and yes, ronald's band won, and that's like, a triple win for michelle! when she sung at the end..sheesh.. i was telling michelle chiang how i felt like crying man.. her voice is sooo beautiful... the council+yujie+yanyun item topped the category for group..they totally deserve it la.. i remember being so impressed when i first heard them outside the council room..
captain + the house reps got this really pretty bouquet of flowers for me.. thank you all so much.. :) kat for the balloons..huiyi, linlin, xiaomin etc for the flowers.. my darling girls lyn, jess, huili, alene.. for everything.. :) and people like hasan too! thank you all so much.. had great dinner with jess, lyn and huili before having ice cream at swenson's.. i couldn't stop smiling on the bus home man.. haha.. =D i'm really really happy today.. saw so many great performances..knowing that people appreciate me.. knowing that some things will never change.. haha. looking forward to fusion tomorrow. all the best to the homegrown band + yujie and icky. will be there tomorrow to support you guys!
eileen: u poor thing man, take care of your leg kz? and thanks for your concoction! haha
xinhui: =D you know you always have a friend in me too..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:16
Friday, February 20, 2004
wow.. i'm so touched!! i gotta thank so many people for being so nice.. those of you who wrote stuff in my guestbook.. i realised i'm pretty lucky.. i really have quite a lot of people who care for me.. and to lynette for all she's done (yes, including denying me the chocolate bar, haha)..francine for the barley water she made for me today..aww..beechy..thank you so much. my lignum 6th for all the support, especially the girls.. =PpPp the rest of the house reps like kat them for their help too.. derek, ron and michelle them for telling me to have more confidence and all.. *sniff sniff* i'm really so touched.. but!!! peiying, agnes, eileen and shaun are not going! sigh.. and huiling, jiawen them too..which translates to esther them not going.. quite sad la..i mean..they weren't there for dramafest last year too.. ah well.
hmm..managed to sell all the funorama tickets for jolin (whee! after so long..). wish i could go but well, tomorrow's a long day for me.. watched yujie and icky rehearse together with peig, huili, agnes and alene. =) he'll do great tomorrow! i'm sure! oh, and he's got a great fanclub president who's really talented herself! not bad man..alene can dance and sing.. though she doesn't look like it.. (oh die..haha.. okay i was kidding girl!) i had a great evening with the girls.. we walked all the way to coro and had dinner at prince. wow.. we spent quite a while talking and shit.. peiying and i ate so many slices of garlic bread! think i might go run tomorrow in school..
xinhui: i'm so sorry, i haven't replied your letter yet.. been really busy lately.. but i really appreciate you standing up for me in my blog.. :) i'll try to reply or come online and talk to you when i can okay? do take care.. i miss you!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:49
Thursday, February 19, 2004
oh. and i love the song that one of the bands is playing.
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
perhaps i might be able to go for funorama after all.. see how la.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:55
i feel so guilty for not doing any homework at all the past 2 days! was thinking about the whole windsurfing thing and talentime.. was quite frustrated coz i couldn't decide what to wear and all? lynette was nice enough to lemme try her dresses but it didn't work out so i went to town in search of a new skirt and wala! i got it! shoes too! =) now all that's left is the choker.. whee! finally! and i think ms lim MAY just lemme drop out of the windsurfing thingy.. (huili: if there's one in june, you must go okay!!) we'll see! hmm.. think i should get down to doing a bit of work tonight.. or maybe i'll just sleep? peiying said my dark circles look terrible..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:28
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
just wanna say hello to squid! =) let's see..short day today but it was a mad rush from ms kwa's farewell to one hour of physics tutorial to the MOE focus groups discussion to the merger proposal review! *phew*
i was pretty touched by the video presentation and wow, i never knew njc achieved such amazing feats when it first started out as a junior college. haha. i actually teared! took a house reps photo after that and i think most of us were present, even those who are usually not around. i was thinking about what to wear for talentime and i wish i brought the skirt to show lyn.. i definitely could use some advice. went shopping after school with kat to see if i could get the choker thing, and i really appreciate her help and all. thank you!
the focus group discussion with the MOE people wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.. i actually had fun voicing how i feel about certain things.. and i had 3 cups of tea. haha. felt really important in that room. it dragged till a little after 4 and then the caps + vice caps rushed down to the office for the proposal review.. sigh. there's yet another meeting between us and the council exco on saturday (!!) at 7.30am (!!!!!). god knows what time it'll end. i'm supposed to report for talentime at 12pm and peiying was so nice to volunteer to stay in school with me until then! *touched*
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:43
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
this is rather interesting. i received a hate-note on my guestbook from some anonymous person. haha. it's quite amusing actually. for a person who thinks i'm a bitch, you sure do keep yourself entertained with my blog. to the extend of leaving a note! how kind! and well, this is my blog. if you're not happy with what i've written,
CLOSE THE BROWSER. need i stress that again? i think i'll keep that message on my guestbook. let's see if you have the guts to reveal your identity. my life gets boring after a while, i could do with a bit of entertainment.
happy birthday alene! haha. i hope you didn't mind me teasing you the whole day okay? and anyway, you lucky duck! so many presents and most of them are soooooo not cheap! *ahem ahem* we'll throw you a surprise party next year okay? but yes..please make yourself free! =) eileen, your present came in handy man! haha. i think both alene and i used it! hmm..jialing came to school today and she brought me cheesecake! thank you angel.. sorry i couldn't stay to talk though..
smallville's starting but i didn't keep up with it last season so i'm totally lost..but i'll watch it anyway, Kristin Kreuk is soooo pretttyyyyyy!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:41
Saturday, February 14, 2004
i had a great day today! let's see.. my leg injury stint worked and i didn't run the road run. i spent most of the time limping around and distributing presents to my friends! but i think alotta people knew about it after a while..haha. congratulations to all the prize winners for the run and gosh, i'm so proud of ui aik, daryl and my house. we came in 2nd overall for the run! but the total defence component was rubbish. haha. anyway, alene, huili and i were cheering and shouting for anyone we knew and arghh..it definitely aggravated my throat. i sound like a cross between a man and a woman now.
had lunch at turf city before heading back to school for the farewell ceremony tech-run. the indian dance and western dance were so good! bavi and kelly looked so happy up there.. wahhhh! i was quite mesmerized by the western dancers. we cleared the rubbish (left overs from CNY) outside the air-rifle range (coz the rifle people complained i think) before heading to kiat's house. it's huge!!! and i sooo lurveeee the staircase in the hall! the girls took turns walking down the stairs and someone would be at the bottom of it to extend an arm to the girl, like the beauty and the beast thingy! we spent most of the time swimming in his pool and we didn't play the couple games in the end. but it was really nice just swimming and splashing around. =) thank you kiat! showered after that (my gosh, he has like, 8 toilets, and every toilet has a bath tub of a different shape or size) and geez, i don't think i took a long time! but anyway, we watched a bit of sex and the city after that. haha. it was quite explicit, but at the same time, really funny. think i might borrow the dvd from kat.
us lignum people left for town and had gelato (ui aik's treat! we love you captain!) before heading to suntec to meet the solaris people and yuen sean. my gosh.. there were couples everywhere.. everywhere you turned, there would be people holding hands and all. bahhh.. *sad* haha. ah well. all the eateries were packed so we had take-aways. it was really nice eating and talking at the fountain of wealth.. the sky was pretty clear and it was windy..gabriel joined us a while later and we all talked about what kinda characteristics we look out for in a potential girl/boyfriend. yuen sean's like..wow. he really expects a lot but at the same time, he'll be a good husband and all. so sweet! and alene's a joke la..hahah. apparently she has alotta points that yuen sean's looking out for.. haha. silly girl!
never spent v-day with anyone special before but i really had a great time with my friends today. =) i really hope people like ron, qixian, kaimin, huiling..etc etc etc had a great time with their special someones. it's really cute how the guys who usually act like idiots kept askin a few of us girls for tips on presents, dinner..etc. haha. suddenly they all seem so sweet. hmm, gotta try and finish up all the sweets and chocolates i got, and yes, thank you to all you darlings who gave me stuff this valentine's day. i love you all so much.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:59
Friday, February 13, 2004
Friday the 13th! anyone suffered any misfortune(s) you'd like to share? huili and i signed up for wind-surfing and i'm actually pretty excited about it..but huili's complaining about being darker already. haha. it's the eve of valentine's day/friendship day and already there were so many people exchanging gifts! i was so touched! ui aik and daryl actually gave us flowers! you guys rock man! qixian gave lyn and i a flower each too, to thank us for well, kinda helping him with his date tomorrow. haha. thanks to zhanghao and especially the lignum IP class. they were so sweet! the lignum house reps all got something from them!
i decided not to go for chinese and i spent the entire afternoon with jialing. it was really good seeing her.. =) had lunch in school before going to coro to get paper and chocolate. after that we had ice cream at venezia and then we took the bus all the way to yishun and then to sembawang! she's working there so yea, we spent the rest of the time there until i had to go off, which was just about time for her to start work. :) i'm real glad i went out with her and all la.. i wish she was still a year 2 in school.. saw jingyi (yikes, hope i spelt it correctly) in school! it's a joy to see her around though i don't know her that well, but i'll always remember her as the crasher who helped us out during orientation.. haha. meeting cheryl later to get the ankle guard..road run tomorrow..ah well. happy valentines' day to all of you out there!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:43
This is absolute rubbish, but i did it for the fun of it anyway. Click
here to try it.
You have a good imagination, and often exhibit sensitivity to others.
At times, you may tend to be overly sensitive to criticism. You can be excessively cautious or narrow in your outlook unless you receive the right kind of encouragement.
You have so many interests that you may have trouble deciding which ones to pursue.
You are a warm hearted person, with much love to give.
There may be times in your life when you give in to feelings of sadness or depression.
You are likely to make decisions based on intuition or feelings rather than intellect. You do have the capability to detach yourself emotionally and look at situations objectively, but you may not have developed this trait as well as you should.
There are inconsistencies in your energy level, possibly triggered by external factors or emotional changes.
You have a basically strong constitution, and should enjoy good health most of the time.
You were probably given a good start in life by your parents. This could be based on your general upbringing, or on physical characteristics you inherited.
some of it's true actually..haha.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 22:34
Thursday, February 12, 2004
just wanted to say hi to victor. haha. =) and to xinhui..helloooo..it was an accidenttt!!!
had talentime rehearsal today, a tech-run actually. oh boy, i sucked like, totally.. haha. compared to the rest that is. i shouldn't have drunk from mer's cup that day, now i really think i'm falling sick. but of course, i'm not blaming you mer! haha. and hey.. i think i know how you feel.. i felt like that the past 2 weeks and i just needed some time to think about stuff..maybe you should too ya? jialing asked me out for lunch tomorrow! sigh. too bad we can't go far 'coz i've got freaking chinese at 3pm..ah well. anyway! i'm in love with michelle leong's voice..my goshhh... really.. she makes people so happy just by singing!
supposed to do physics tonight but well, not really in the mood for it..think i'll do it tomorrow. trying to do up v-day stuff for the girls and well, alot's gonna happen next week..phew.. talentime, acjc funorama, ms kwa's farewell, moe focus grp, birthdays (yikes..), fusion.. and i'm still not sure if i'm going for huang chen. if he asks again, i guess i will.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:48
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
i write what i feel in my blog. if it offends anybody, i'm not sorry, and you can close the browser window if you feel insulted yea? but in any case, a few of the tchs people in school well, they've got attitude. so much so that i feel like slapping them at times.. ah well. but then of course there are nice people, like those in house, my cousin denzyl, mer.. etc.. yep yep.
what an embarrassing day! wanted to change out of my PE attire after math lecture so lyn and i went to the huge toilet behind lt5. it was so crowded..but anyway, i got into the shower cubicle and i didn't know the shower knob was on the wall right behind me..and i happily leaned on it. arghh!!! thank goodness i was still in my PE attire! i felt so stupid man.. i rushed out while the water was still running and peiying's friends were laughing.. hahaha. okay i think it's really funny too, but argh, felt so embarrassed after that! =X
watched White Oleander in class today. wow. it portrays the life of a growing teenage girl really well. the negative aspects of her life anyway. was thinking about the movie the whole time on the way home after shaun got off. had a merger meeting today, our 4th and it was quite productive! physics test tomorrow..bleahh.. i'm gonna get another f9 i think..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:38
Sunday, February 08, 2004
oh yes. mingfeng, are you tic-tacs?
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:14
talentime talentime talentime! i'm getting pretty psyched compared to how i felt about it last week. i don't know if i should do How Do I Live..i've got a couple more songs so i'll ask for opinions tomorrow i guess. i wish i had a wider range, my voice i mean, then i can do that celine dion song.. sigh. oh well. been online the whole evening searching and downloading stuff..argh. but i did do a little work this weekend! *sheepishly..* ah well. we're meeting our junior class tomorrow so i'll get to see who my angel and mortal are.. *whee* i hope i'll be as close to them as i am to jialing.. ciao!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:13
Saturday, February 07, 2004
finally. weekend! this is so what i need man..
had love matters in school today, it was quite interesting..especially the video. i've seen similar ones before but still, it's so sad to see it again.. aborted babies and all, i actually teared! i wish they talked more about homosexuality though..
had a general meeting regarding merger with the 36 hs reps and it took really long and my stomach was growling!! a couple of us had lunch at coro and the whole time we were talking about tchs-njc bastards and about the whole love matters thingy.. quite interesting how russell seemed so experienced..haha. left for town to meet jess lim, jess lai and lyn! oh man.. it's been so long since i've gone out shopping and talking with them.. i bought this pretty nice skirt! i wanted to get my chaos top but they didn't have it anymore.. *wails* saw esther and zhiheng..pleasant surprise. oh! and i finally took neoprints with the girls.. my first with jess lai and jess lim!
i'm so glad for this short break.. i guess school's getting to me. think i oughta start focusing and work towards my new year resolutions.. (see january - archives).
to all of you who read my entries the past week..thank you for your comforting messages in my guestbook.. =D
to jess, jess and esp lyn: thank you girls.. it's just what i needed. =)
// hilda left the world behind.. // 23:24
oh my. i read my guestbook. i'm so touched! as in..really.. =) thank you all so much.. and kaimin! i didn't know you read blogs. haha. and jiawen, thank you so much for your message k.. really. =)
got back my econs test today, oh mann... i really need to work harder..
i finally talked to lynette about how i'm feeling, i think it's just one of those weird times when everything's going wrong at the same time. but i'm going shopping tomorrow (!!), hopefully i'll be happy me again!
// hilda left the world behind.. // 00:22
Thursday, February 05, 2004
yet another sucky day in school..
ron msged me last night while i was studying for econs and i'm really glad he did..somehow he managed to make me feel better, for the night at least. felt like shit again in school.. didn't go for assembly.. just felt so lost thru' out the day. screwed up the econs test. and ms lim just HAD to make me do PE. but when i changed into my attire, the entire class was gone, and because i wasn't with them, i had to do PE makeup in the afternoon? at least it was mass PE, together with agnes, alene and peiying. talentime results are out. the duet with shaun didn't make it but my solo did. somehow i'm not all that excited though.. i'm feeling quite bad about it actually. it's so tiring to act like you're okay when you're actually not.. sigh. so embarrassing. teared in the house room..bleah. was really glad to talk to ron during chemistry tutorial.. he was really nice to drop by the house room later on to teach me mclaurin's series too.. haha. if you're reading this, yea, really, thank you. =)
// hilda left the world behind.. // 18:21
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
a collection or random thoughts..just like eileen said.
received my SAT result via snail mail. i don't think i even need to open it though. received xinhui's letter too, yet to read that.
i hate myself for being so stupid, i mean, goodness. my grades are disgusting. math test..chem test..and fratz, there's an econs test tomorrow and i'm soooo not up for studying? i just want to sleep..
the solo wasn't fantastic, it was well, okay i guess. the duet..hmm. just hope they're only testing our voice quality this time around. we could've done so much better, right shaun?
was hoping talentime would be something to look forward to, but right now.. ah well. whatever. i need some loud music right now..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 20:39
and fuck. did i mention? i lost my ez-link card.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 01:46
thanks to all you wonderful people who left messages in my guestbook.
agnes and alene: gosh..i truly am touched by what you all have done.. really. :) i love you guys.
eileen: i totally understand how you feel.. i can hardly breathe right now. i need a break..
well it's almost 2 am in the morning. somehow things just aren't going right with talentime. sigh. and what about school work? well i've only just showered.. thanks eileen, for helpin me to burn the stuff into the cd. sheesh. i'm not having pms, so why the hell am i feeling this way? maybe i just need some new directions in my life. can't seem to find enthusiasm for anything right now. the only thing i'm looking forward to is xinhui's mail..
..suddenly i wish it would continue raining...
// hilda left the world behind.. // 01:45
Monday, February 02, 2004
went to shaun's place with haogen and gabriel this morning to practice. i think i sound horrible, but argh, it'll have to do. tomorrow's gonna be a long day so i hope i'll be able to find time to do up the music. didn't do any work over the weekend, feel so bloody guilty about it.
was blog surfing and realised a lot of people have so many problems right now.. as in, they all sound so unhappy. sigh.
i think i need to re-evaluate my life right now. i need to get away from school, from the house room, from home.. i need somewhere quiet. i wish gaia city hadn't closed down.. i've always felt at peace there..
// hilda left the world behind.. // 20:26
Sunday, February 01, 2004
oh my gosh. i never wanna go to a ktv again. haha. i ate nuts and drank coke.. for 22 bucks! okay i sang a few songs but that's about it i think. the rest of the songs were chinese and half the time i couldn't figure out the words? we were at kbox all the way until 7, then we couldn't cross over to taka due to the chingay crowd, so we had dinner at meridien. some of them wanted to play pool after that but we saw the chingay floats and jiawen, mich and i were quite interested, so we stayed to watch it. the whole event was so colourful and lively! imagine the amount of effort and money put into it! nj-first-three-months patricia was in it, so were the nj cheerleaders. left the 4/1 peeps halfway to meet russell, then we walked to ps to meet shaun.
we weren't at wala wala for long, coz some of them had to leave. but the band was pretty okay, and they played songs that i like! whee! i feel so inspired to learn something, ANYTHING after A lvls! guitar..drums..whatever! haha.
i just read kiat's blog. read kelly's the other day. didn't know what to say. i mean, i kinda knew a while back, just that i didn't dare mention.. you all are such strong people. really..
to the 4/1 ppl: hey it's not that i didn't enjoy myself today with you all, haha. just that the next time you're going to a ktv, i'll pass.. call me along if you all plan to do sthg else ya? =)
huiling: i truly meant what i said about your character! haha.
// hilda left the world behind.. // 01:30
